Marine refuses to have shared bank account with girlfriend after both she and her parents continuously suggest it, his parents think their request is bizarre: 'We’re not married, not even living together'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Jul 1, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

POV: Her parents are pressuring you to have shared bank accounts way before you've even put a ring on her finger… Sounds like a very dangerous plot episode of Netflix's newest 'perfect American family' drama. That's a no from us!

It's one thing to spoil your girlfriend: buy her gifts, take her to her favorite date night spots, and maybe even lend her a few dollars here and there to pamper herself. But for her to expect you to combine bank accounts before you're even engaged seems a bit odd and, to be honest, outright suspicious. 

And to throw more fuel on the fire, imagine her parents are getting involved, telling you that it's definitely the right financial move for the future. Did we just jump into a scene from Catch Me If You Can, but instead of a gorgeous young Leonardo DiCaprio, we have two middle-aged parents in cargo shorts and a floral apron? 

One's financial situation is no one else's business. We understand if couples would like some sort of idea of where their partner stands financially, but by no means do they have the right to expect that money to be handed to them on a golden platter simply because they are in a relationship. 

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  • If it were us, we couldn't imagine rushing into any relationship with these in-laws. They already seem to be digging for gold, and it would be silly of us to hand them the shovel. We understand that the couple's love may be genuine and true, but the red flags have been raised and they're getting harder and harder to ignore!

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    AITA for refusing to share details about my finances with my girlfriend (22F) and her parents?

    1 (23M) just got out of the Marine Corps and moved back in with my parents to go to school full-time using the GI Bill. My tuition, books, and living stipend are
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    covered, and I'm also serving in the reserves. I've always been disciplined with money - I save aggressively, invest, and live way below my means even though I
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    have hobbies like riding my motorcycle and gaming. I'm good with money, and I have a solid plan for the future.
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    My girlfriend (22F) and I have been together since high school. She's also living at home, going to nursing school, and working
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    part-time as a restaurant host. She's told me she's super stressed about her finances she has a high car payment and insurance,
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    and she spends a lot on self-care stuff (salon, nails, cosmetics, designer bags, etc.). She admits she doesn't budget or plan much.
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    Lately, she and even her parents have been pressing me to talk about my financial situation. They've asked how much money |
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    have saved, what I earn, how I invest, and even hinted that we should open joint accounts. My girlfriend recently told me that if
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    I'm not "more open" about money, maybe we need to take a break. That really threw me. We're not married, not even living together.
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    I don't see how joint finances or total transparency makes sense at this stage. I was raised to believe you keep your finances private
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    unless you're married or building a life together, and even then, you don't have to merge everything.
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    My parents think it's bizarre that her folks are getting involved, and they've warned me not to share financial details this early. They've even said if we eventually marry,
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    ONLINE BANKING Your Acceart20 5.724.48 9.354.89 Headphones forge cable + Passport
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    we should consider keeping separate accounts and maybe a prenup, especially since we have such different attitudes toward money.
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    So now I'm stuck wondering - AITA for keeping my financial details to myself? Is it actually that weird to want privacy about
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    money while we're still in school and living at home? Or are her concerns valid, and I'm being too guarded? EDIT: To clarify, I care about her a
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    lot and want the relationship to work. I'm just worried that if I start sharing financial details now, it sets a precedent I'm uncomfortable with — especially
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    with how much influence her parents seem to have. AITA for not sharing my finances and resisting the idea of joint financial planning while we're both still students living at home?
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    Cheeze79 Run my guy. Run away from this one. She is irresponsible and you are not on the hook for her poor financial decisions. Let her ne someone elses problem.
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    Dramatic-Ant-9364 Maybe they already know their daughter is high maintenance, is a big spender, and spends well beyond her means. If so, they are asking you to do this so they don't end up stuck with the bill.
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    RJack151 NTA. Tell her she is right and you want to take a break because them wanting to know about your finance when you two are not engaged is a huge red flag that cannot be overlooked.
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    Cybermagetx Yta for staying with her. To yourself. They want you to pay for her living. Thay will not change till she decides to grow up.
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    z-eldapin Nopety nope nope. They are looking for you to bail her out.
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Tags

boyfriend family drama couple drama were-in-love finance relationship-drama girlfriend future couples in laws money relationship drama parents
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